Social Media Peer Review Group 1

Here is group one for the social media peer review:

Scott B.Renee G.Amanda D.Louise B.Hania M.

Like I said on the post that introduced peer review, I will give you a choice: you can either share your draft of an essay with your peers as a Google Doc (which has the advantage of allowing your peers to comment in more detail on the draft), or as a page on your WordPress site. Start peer review by the end of the day on Monday, November 27, and finish peer review by the end of the day on Wednesday, November 29.

17 Responses to Social Media Peer Review Group 1

  1. Scott says:

    HI everyone, here is a link to my Google Doc:
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ilDR7XEE2RyghxStnp0rVKlcG9LAvdTBTBmdGlqzIIw/edit

    Like Prof. Krause alludes to in the introduction here, I welcome all criticism. I won’t take anything personally. I know this isn’t perfect and it needs work. Anything constructive can really help and I will do the same for your essays. Thanks.

    • aderengo says:

      Scott,

      Overall I think your paper is really good. My comments are in the doc, and if any of them don’t make sense or if you have a question please let me know. I liked the way you incorporated the articles and the experiences that you had on the social media platforms. I think just expanding a bit more on your ideas is all you need to do.

      Hope this helps.

    • LouiseWrites says:

      All my comments are on the doc, you’ve made some very good points and for some I hope you can expand a bit more.

    • ReneeG says:

      Scott,

      I think that you have a really great start. You provided a lot of insight to your personal experience and made good references to the readings. With a little more work, I think you will have a great essay!

  2. aderengo says:

    Here is the link to my Google Doc:
    https://docs.google.com/a/emich.edu/document/d/1X9CUB2wm6VRpzQ5kd19z3cmE1Jkim0SkvCnDsJxqR1c/edit?usp=sharing

    Like Scott mentioned above, I welcome all criticism and know that my reflection needs work. Anything will help. If for some reason the doc does not allow you to comment please let me know.
    Thanks.

    • Scott says:

      Amanda I have a lot of comments in you Google Doc, but here is an overview:

      Overall you have a good start here. I think your essay could benefit from specific examples (some I have listed) as well as more quotes from the readings to solidify your points. The quotes that you have are utilized effectively, so continue in that vein to build more content mirrored on your personal experience. Finally, bring it all together with a conclusion that speaks generally about social media and your overall experience with the project; things you can take away about communication and writing.

      If you have any questions let me know.

      • aderengo says:

        Thank you for the comments Scott. I think you’re right having more specific examples will help the paper, along with adding a couple other quotes.

        Right now I don’t have any questions, but if I do I’ll let you know.

        Thanks again.

    • ReneeG says:

      Great start! I think, like Scott mentioned, that your essay could benefit from some more specific examples. You are definitely heading in the right direction!

    • LouiseWrites says:

      You have a good start! My comments are on the doc, though Scott hit most of the comments already I don’t have as many…

  3. ReneeG says:

    Here is the link to my Google Doc:

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Rqsz8iAikm34_aNWe9OBOcgKpsMUEd0TAHrqCpH2ZuA/edit?usp=sharing

    I accept all criticism and I know that this isn’t even close to being “perfect” yet. Thanks in advance!

    • Scott says:

      I have some specific critiques in your Google Doc, but here is more general feedback:

      Overall, your content in this essay focuses solely on your experience. Which you do a good job at, though you could be more specific at times. You will want to be able to relate some of your experience to the readings we had this semester. Adding quotes from many of the articles and discussing them could help you back up your ideas. We didn’t read much about Vine or LinkdIn but there is a lot of general information about social media in some of the articles you could relate to and solidify your arguments with while building more content. Specifically I am thinking about Adam’s discussion of “The Real Life Social Network” we had at the beginning of the semester. Also “The Benefits of Facebook ‘Friends.'”

      Don’t be afraid to dig down into why you do or do not like these kinds of social media, rather than just saying that you feel that way. Also Twitter was another social media we were supposed to include. Talk about your personal experience with Twitter along with some of the readings. Good start though.

    • aderengo says:

      Renee,

      Overall I think your paper is good. My comments are in the doc, and if any of them don’t make sense or if you have a question please let me know.

      The one main thing that I think is missing from your paper are different quotes from articles discussing the social media sites you are discussing. This will back up the great experiences that you are writing about in your paper.

      And I agree with Scott, go ahead and explain more about each platform and what you may or may not like about them.

      Hope this helps.

    • LouiseWrites says:

      You have a good framework here. My comments are on the doc, keep it up!

    • Scott says:

      I couldn’t comment on your Google Doc so here are my comments:

      You have a unique perspective throughout your essay; one in which you seem not too keen (maybe an understatement) on many of the different types of social media. I think your voice comes off interesting and engaging through the essay.

      When you talk about reading Harding’s article on Pinterest, consider siting her and possibly quoting her to back up your personal experience. She eventually reveals how jaded she became with her personal interest with Pinterest and you might relate to that. At the end of the Pinterest paragraph you write, “a person cannot seriously believe that pinning hundreds of items every day for hours on end will somehow lead to actual productivity.” And yet it seems like people do think that way. Again Harding’s insights hone in on some of the obsession certain types of people feel social media provides for their psyche.

      I am not familiar with GoodReads. Consider giving a brief explanation of that social media. Also consider a brief synopsis of each social media you discuss for people who may not know. You final paragraph goes in length about many different topics, separate into different paragraphs the main points.

      I think your essay will benefit from reflecting some more material we read in class off of your experience. There are many articles that discuss the benefits and disadvantages of social media, consider using them to strengthen arguments.

    • aderengo says:

      I also couldn’t comment on the Google Doc, so here are my thoughts.

      It’s a good paper. You have really interesting thoughts about the social media platforms. I found your comments on Pinterest the most interesting, and that’s probably because we have had different experiences on that platform.

      I would add Twitter to your discussion since it was one of the platforms we are supposed to include.

      Your examples on the different platforms I think could be stronger if they were backed up by the different readings we did in class. Like Scott said looking into the articles that discussed both the benefits and disadvantages will strengthen your argument.

      Hope this helps.

    • ReneeG says:

      I couldn’t comment on the Google Doc, so here are some thoughts:

      – Make sure to include Twitter since it is a platform we are supposed to discuss
      – Maybe try to get a little more specific with some of your examples
      – I think that you have a really interesting take on social media, and I really enjoyed reading that. I think with just a bit of further expanding and a little work, you will have a great essay. You are definitely heading in the right direction.

      Good job!

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